


A bunch of teenagers play Mario Kart and it goes about as badly as you'd expect

by Cartoonygirl



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Gen, Mario Kart, Swearing, ruined friendships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 14:32:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11015352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cartoonygirl/pseuds/Cartoonygirl
Summary: The Squip Squad gets together to play Mario Kart. Feelings are hurt. Blue shells are thrown. Friendships are ended.





	1. Round one, in which Chloe uses the power of spite to drive her kart and Brooke can't play video games well

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of a post I saw on tumblr kind of  
> sorry that some characters got left out a bit!

"So here's how it goes," Michael began to explain. "Me, Jeremy, Chloe, and Brooke play the first round. Jake, Rich, Jenna, and Christine play the second round. The top two winners of each round go into the finals. Winner of that is the winner of the whole thing." 

"Any questions?" Jeremy asked, picking up his controller.

"Yes. Why do  _you two_ get the good controllers?" Chloe asked, pointing at Michael and Jeremy, who both had pro controllers.

"Because we came prepared," Michael said smugly.

"I've never seen anyone take Mario Kart this seriously," Jenna commented.

"We are very serious Mario Kart players," Jeremy replied. "So prepare to lose."

"Oh, you wanna go there?" Chloe asked angrily. "I now _refuse_ to lose this." 

The four first round players got ready and chose their characters. Brooke chose Isabelle ("It's a little tiny puppy!"), Chloe chose Rosalina, Michael choose Mario, and Jeremy chose Yoshi. The stage was Sherbet Land. 

Lakitu appeared on the screen.

"Ready? Set? GO!" Michael exclaimed, and the race was on.

Michael took a fast lead, speeding ahead of Jeremy, who was in second. Chloe was in third, and Brooke fell into sixth. The four teens were completely focused, because the first set of power-ups was coming up.

They sped through the small, blue boxes. Michael got a coin, much to his disappointment. Jeremy received a single green shell. Chloe earned a red shell, which she trailed behind her car. Brooke... missed the boxes completely. But this was good, because she took a shortcut instead and moved into fourth.

"Come on, Brooke!" Christine shouted excitedly. She liked to cheer on whoever was losing when watching games. 

"I'm trying!" Brooke yelled nervously, drawing her attention away from the screen. She crashed into a wall and moved back into fifth.

Jeremy got closer to Michael's car and used his green shell, but missed by a few inches. Michael laughed, and Jeremy held the controller tighter. Chloe's red shell blocked a green shell that was thrown by a CPU behind her.

Jeremy and Michael were almost neck and neck at that point, with Chloe close behind. Brooke crashed into a Shy Guy and went back further, into seventh place. The second lap began.

Brooke grabbed a box this time, and was awarded with a group of three red shells. She wasn't sure what to do with them, so she threw them at random all at once. She moved up to fourth place, a short space behind Chloe.

Chloe missed the boxes. She cursed.

Jeremy and Michael both grabbed coins. Chloe got closer to them.

"Chloe's catching up!" Rich taunted, laughing.

The second lap ended. Michael was in first, Jeremy in second, Chloe in third, and Brooke in fifth.

They passed the boxes a final time. Jeremy got a banana, and Michael got a green shell. Brooke managed to grab a red shell, moving her into fourth. She trailed behind Chloe, trying not to hit anything else.

Chloe's box was different entirely. She laughed evilly, and all seven teens drew their attention to her screen.

Chloe had the one, the only...  _Blue shell_. The item with the power to destroy the first place player with a single tap of a button. 

"Fuck!" Michael exclaimed. Chloe only laughed harder. Rich and Jake were yelling, Christine was literally on the edge of her seat. Jenna was video taping, ready to watch a friendship die before her eyes. As the end of the race drew closer, Chloe waited. And waited. And waited. And-

"NOOOOOOOO!" Michael yelled. The blue shell hit his car dead on, stopping him in his tracks. But that wasn't even the best part.

Jeremy, close behind, got caught in the bright, neon explosion. He and Michael would be held back for a few seconds.

That was all the time that Chloe needed. 

She sped over the finish line in first place. Brooke came behind her in third. Michael took fourth, and Jeremy got a close fifth. 

Michael and Jeremy were screaming. Chloe was dying with laughter. Brooke seemed shocked by the fact that she'd managed to move on to the finals. Jenna was posting the whole video on her Snapchat story. Christine, Jake, and Rich were screaming and laughing at the same time.

"Alright," Michael said when everybody had died down. "It's time for round two to begin."


	2. Round two, in which Jenna turns out to be very good at gaming and Rich is very good at crashing into things

Round two was ready to begin. Jeremy gave his controller to Christine, so she had to play as Yoshi. Michael gave his to Rich, who was playing Mario. Chloe gave hers to Jenna, so she played Rosalina. Brooke gave her controller to Jake, who played Isabelle.

They chose the stage Super Bell Subway.

Lakitu appeared once again, and then the race was off. Jenna took a surprising lead, with Jake behind her in second. Christine started slow and got fourth place. Rich messed up his head start, so he was in eighth place.

"Aw, shit," Rich muttered, finally getting his car to move. "I'm gonna beat you guys."

"Not likely!" Jenna shouted, speeding across the stage.

The first group of power-up boxes was up ahead. Jenna burst through them, grabbing a coin.

"Ugh, this is useless," She groaned, using it and continuing ahead. 

Christine pulled a red shell from her box and hit an unsuspecting Jake, who had missed the boxes entirely.

"Sorry!" She yelled as her kart passed his into second place.

"You don't apologize for hitting somebody with a shell, Christine," Jeremy laughed. Christine ignored him. She was still far behind Jenna, who was almost on her second lap.

Rich pulled a mushroom, and sped ahead- right into a subway car. He got bumped back into tenth place. 

"Rich, you have to _avoid_ those things," Michael explained.

"I know that!" Rich replied.

Jenna moved onto her second lap, with Christine behind her. Jake passed into his second lap not long after, and Rich began about ten seconds later.

Jake began to mumble. "Please give me a good power-up. Please give me a good power-up-" 

"It can't hear you, dude!" Rich interrupted.

"Shut up!"

Jenna was almost at the boxes. 

"Fuck!" She shouted, as she missed them by an inch. Luckily, Christine was still pretty far behind her, and had only gotten a coin from the box.

Jake got a blooper, and sent it off immediately. Jenna wasn't bothered by the "ink" on her screen at all. Christine was swerving a lot, but managed to stay on track.

Rich crashed into a wall. He was in dead last now.

"Rich, can I just say that you suck at this?" Chloe joked.

"SHUT UP!"

The third and final lap arrived. Jenna was so far ahead that Christine couldn't even see her on the screen. Jake was in third, behind Christine. Rich was still in last place.

The last group of boxes had arrived. Jenna got a green shell, and she trailed it behind her car. Christine got a mushroom, slightly catching her up to Jenna. Jake got a coin.

Rich finally pulled through the blue boxes.

"Oh, hell yes!" He shouted.

The finish line had almost arrived. Jenna was still in first, Christine in second, Jake in third, and Rich in eleventh. 

It was at that moment that Rich used his power-up. A Bullet Bill.

He flew past the CPUs in places ten to four, hit Jake, and passed Christine. Jenna passed the finish line just as Rich hit her.

"YEAH!" Rich yelled, throwing his hands into the air. 

Jenna looked extremely smug, having just won the round without ever leaving first place. Christine was a bit upset, but she said she wouldn't have made it through the finals anyways.

Jake looked like he was about to punch Rich in the face.

"Okay, so, here are our finalists," Jeremy stated matter-of-factly. "Chloe, Brooke, Jenna, and Rich. Get ready, because the finals are about to begin."


	3. The final round, in which Rich just tries to fuck everybody up as much as possible but only fucks himself up and Christine films the whole thing

"WHO'S READY FOR THE FINAL ROUND?!?!" Michael yelled, flopping down onto a beanbag chair.

"I'm ready to WIN!" Chloe replied, holding her controller in a ready position. 

Chloe was playing Rosalina this round. Jenna was Yoshi. Brooke was Isabelle. Rich was Mario.

Christine had Jenna's phone, ready to film the whole final game. Chloe, Jenna, and Rich looked determined and excited, but Brooke looked a little nervous.

"Alright, the camera's going when you're ready." Christine announced, holding Jenna's phone steadily in her hands. She had focused it on the screen of the tv, where the game was about to start. The level was the most infamous, important, hardest level in Mario Kart history.

Rainbow Road.

"Ready..." Christine began. The finalists got into racing positions.

"Set..." Michael, Jeremy, Jake, and Christine were on the edge of their seats.

" **GO!** " They were off. 

Chloe and Jenna took off quickly, and they began switching first and second place. They were bumping their karts into each other, screaming and trash-talking each other, and leaning very close to the screen. Both were trying to hit the other off the edge of the stage.

Rich took fifth place, his driving more careful than fast. If you fell off Rainbow Road, it was all over.

Brooke, sadly, had gone over the edge almost immediately. She was in tenth place. 

The first and only group of boxes was ahead, and Jenna and Chloe were still going at it. Jenna claimed her power-up- a mushroom. She saved it, knowing that using it could put her over the edge. Chloe had a green shell, which she immediately chucked at her rival. It sailed over the edge, never to be seen again.

Rich got a Bob-omb, which he tossed behind him. It knocked a large group of racers off the edge.

"Take that, bitches!" He yelled, moving forward.

Brooke pulled a lightning, and she used it quickly. It let her into sixth place, a chorus of swearing from her fellow racers with it.

The second lap began. Chloe had moved slightly ahead of Jenna, and Jenna made her move. The mushroom blasted her forward, slowing right before she flew over the edge. Chloe cursed.

Rich pulled into fourth place, bumping into a CPU toad. The toad flew off the edge, and Rich moved into third.

Brooke was still in sixth, and she was slowly being overtaken by a CPU Princess Peach.

"Brooke! Speed up!" Michael advised.

"No way," Brooke replied. "I'm not going off the edge again."

The boxes appeared again. Jenna and Chloe both grabbed coins, to their annoyances. Rich got a star, and he pressed it immediately. The star theme played, and Michael started to hum along.

Rich, however, had made a crucial mistake. He went too fast.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK-" He flew over the edge, the star theme and glowing disappearing as Lakitu lifted Rich back onto the stage.

"Rich," Jake laughed. "That was amazing."

"SHUT UP!" Rich exclaimed, now in eighth place.

Brooke grabbed a red shell, and she flung it at the CPU in front of her. She moved into fifth- and went over the edge.

"DAMMIT!" She shouted, being put into ninth place- right behind Rich.

Jenna and Chloe continued to battle for first. Jenna got Chloe close to the edge, and then she moved away as Chloe tried to trick her into going over.

The final lap began. Jenna was in first- no, secon- no, fir- She was tied with Chloe. Rich had gotten himself to sixth place, and Brooke was in seventh.

"CHLOE, BACK OFF!" Jenna yelled, slamming her kart into Chloe's.

"YOU BACK OFF!" Chloe replied, slamming back.

The two separated, and flew at each other- bouncing off, and over the edge.

"FUCK!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

They both ended up in fifth.

"I can't believe you got that on video." Jake said to Christine.

Rich was in third place now, nearing the boxes. Suddenly, someone sped past.

"Brooke!" Rich exclaimed as Brooke overtook him. "What the fuck?"

"It's a dog eat dog world, Rich." Brooke laughed.

"Oh, I'm taking that bitch  _down_." Rich said angrily. He broke through the box barrier, and earned a red shell. "Ha! Take that, Brooke!" He flung the shell, but it just hit the green shell Brooke had trailing behind her kart. Rich groaned.

"Coming through!" Jenna yelled, using her mushroom and moving past Rich as well.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU." 

Chloe was still behind, because she was saving her power-up for the last second.

They were about 2/3 of the way through the race when she finally unleashed it.

"FIRE FLOWER, MOTHERFUCKERS!" She screamed, knocking out Rich, then Jenna, then Brooke, and lastly, the CPUs in first and second. Chloe was winning now, and there was no stopping her.

"CHLOE! YOU BITCH!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"WHY, CHLOE??????" Jenna, Brooke, and Rich shouted, along with other insults. They moved past the CPUs, taking up second, third, and fourth place, respectively. Chloe still had a lead, though.

"This is the most entertaining thing I've ever watched." Jeremy joked to Michael. Michael laughed.

"NONONONO!" Brooke yelled as she slid over the edge. Rich took the opportunity to move into third place. Brooke got bumped into sixth. 

The finish line got closer. The four finalists leaned closer to the tv, ready to see who would win.

They were almost there. A little further and the game would be over. They pressed the buttons harder, as though it would help.

Chloe crossed the finish line first, Jenna close behind in second. Rich was in third. Brooke was in fifth.

"YES!" Chloe shouted, falling backwards onto the floor. "WHO'S THE MASTER NOW, JEREMY?" She turned to gloat.

"Hey, that was all luck," Jeremy replied. "Blue shells are random."

"Yeah, you're just jealous that you didn't even make it to the finals." Michael laughed.

"You didn't make it either!" Jeremy exclaimed, shoving Michael to the side. They both laughed.

"Chloe, you're the worst," Jenna said. 

"I hope you're joking. For your sake." Chloe threatened. The other teens kept giggling.

"Same time next week?" Michael asked. "I call rematch."

The decision was unanimous. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was the funnest thing I've ever written thanks for reading it!
> 
> also if you caught the boyf riends hints in this................. good
> 
> I might do a part two because I had a lot of fun writing this


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